Time Off

I took time off from here because I was so darn busy getting your birthday present ready.

Took me 7 months to complete with all the interruptions etc.  But I got it done.

I will never ever undertake such a project again.  I hope you like it.

Anniversary

Oh well...... it did not go well.

So much for over-hyped expectations.

Life is like that I guess.

What is important is that the love is real............

Plans

I have many things planned for tomorrow, but I cannot write them down here for now because I do not want you to sneak a peek and know my surprises.

I am so happy to have you in my life.

You fill my days with so much laughter and love......when you are not being stubborn..... Hahahaha!

No..... You have really managed to make me laugh and smile so much.  My friends are liking how you have managed to bring happiness back into my life again.

I thank you.

Aimless

Can't believe that this time last year, I was wandering around, body and mind, aimlessly..... wondering if I would ever meet the one of my dreams.

Now here we are, heart to heart, mind to mind, hopelessly, madly in love.

You do not just hold my heart but all of me.

Excited

Is getting close to the date we first met.

I have something for you that I have had for months and months.  I am so excited that I will finally get to give it to you.

Can't stop grinning.

Song for You

A song for you:- 


" I'd like to run away from you, but if you never 
found me I would die

I'd like to break the chains you put around me, 
but I know I never will

You stay away and all I do is wonder why the hell 
I wait for you

But when did common sense prevail for lovers 
when we know it never will

Impossible to live with you, but I know, I could 
never live without you

For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with 
anyone but you

You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make 
me live, you make me die, for you

You make me sing, you make me sad, you make 
me glad, you make me mad, for you

I love you, hate you, love you, hate you
But I'll want you till the world stops turning

For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with 
anyone but you.........."

(Shirley Bassey)

Rush

Whenever I am away from you, I cannot wait to be your side.....to see you again.....to hold you.....to smell you.....

So it confuses me when you say you cannot wait to get back to me, and yet take you time about coming home to me.

I am very confused, and it hurts.

Why my love?  Why?

Rules

Maybe I am not meant for all this.  I have never ever understood why there can be two sets of rules.

So I take and accept until I can take nor accept no more.

Best

Thought it best to just give this a day's rest.  I was getting myself too worked up.  

I wonder how you can be so trivial about stuff and make light.

Everything is very real to me.

Resentment

Resentment.  Resentment.  Resentment!

Counting

I count the days.

Resentment

I told you a long time ago never drive me to resentment because I tend to be eaten by it.

At the moment, you are causing resentment in me.

I try not to cause you resentment that is why I go along with whatever you want because I want you to know how much I love.

But then again, there is that nagging question of how much you will take this for granted and be arrogant, and just bulldoze your way into doing whatever you want without any thought for me?

This splinter between us has now become a wedge.

Conversations

My mind and my memory is like a computer.

I keep going over our conversations.  Wondering if I have missed something somehow.

But all I hear on your part is "I" "Me" over and over again.

Life

"Life is short
 Life is fast
 There are no replays
 There are no rewinds"

Jeopardizing

I wonder if you even  realise that your actions are jeopardizing the very essence that is us?

You send me little clips on how relationships should be.

Why do you send me articles instead of living through the reality of what is?  Do you even realise that in most of these articles these people eventually live separate lives?

I am a here and now person.  I know there is no going back to yesterdays.  I know that we have to keep moving on.

You want to cling on to yesterdays.  I ask you...... Will your yesterdays hold you when you are hurting?  Will your yesterdays run to your side when you need someone to be there for you?  Do your yesterdays love you?

Everyone has their own life to see to.  Their own investments to take care of........  Remember that.

Talking

You talk.  I listen.  I talk. You listen but in resentment.

How about you talk, I listen.  I talk. You listen.  And somehow we come to a compromise?

Trend

You always talk about "trends" to me......

Do you realise that you also have a trend?

Everytime we are really good together, are happy, and feeling safe in our cocoon, you go and dig up something to stick into the smooth rolling wheels.

I try to understand.  I really do.

Today

Today you broke my heart.

Reality

Alas...... Reality has come down hard on us.

Back to rushing about, juggling all that has to be done.

We fall asleep exhausted without the languid soft kisses, cuddles, and of softly whispered goodnight's..... Holding on to each other till soft sunlight peeps through the curtains.

Aahhh the joys of being busy busy.

I WANT TO GO BACK TO OUR LITTLE ESCAPADE!!!

Swimming

I gave you swimming lessons yesterday, and today you showed me you were a fast learner, quite confident in your strokes, slowly coming further from the edge of the pool.

Life should be like that for you.  Do not be afraid to let go of what was, and look forward to all things new and exciting.  Don't live in the shadows of other people's memories.  Make your own.

I have so enjoyed these past few days that I want to do it again soon.  God willing.

And God willing, we shall.

Soon.

Paradise

Being alone together with no distractions, is absolutely paradise for both of us.

We woke without having to start rushing about our day.

We had a leisurely breakfast, knowing that there was nothing planned for us to do but just enjoy the company of each other.

I love you so.

Getaway

In a few hours, we will be free and alone with each other again.

Somehow, what has been happening in the past few days has dampened my enthusiasm.  I was very excited until a few days ago when the old you re-surfaced in glimpses.

I cannot understand, why when you say you are really really happy with me, you sometimes show me that you are still unhappy.

And I just want to do my all to make you happy.

Whatever it is, just remember what I told you from the beginning.  Do not drive me to resentment by taking advantage of my soft and loving heart.

Help me understand why you want to stubbornly hold on to the past when we have a future to make.

Paradise

While I try and understand a lot of things about you and try and accept all that you are, I do not think I will ever take to your grumpiness.

I find that immature and selfish.

When you withdraw into yourself, how can I know what you are thinking?  For I am no mind-reader.

Just remember that when you start feeling pompous and become a know-it-all, you should remember that "however clever or good we are at something, there is always somebody else in the world cleverer and better than us".

It a good piece of advice to remember that will keep us moored to humility.

Remember that price of paradise has never ever come cheap or easily.

Looking Over Fences

The one thing about you that will always gall me is the way you persist in looking over the fence.

Always the envy over a friend or someone who has more than you and who can do the things that you think would make you happy.

Why can you not see the quality in your life?

Why can you not understand that not everything one experiences has to be on Facebook?

I tell you, if someone need to post about the happenings in their life all the time, seeking approval and attention, then that person is a sad case because of the need to show that they are someone.  When actually the real someone is already there.  Within yourself.  In your heart.

Lost

With you now, everytime I feel lost and confused, somehow you know how my heart is and you come looking for me.

You always manage to find me.

Te Amo.

Alone

There was no one to love you when we met.  No one to realise the beauty that was within.

I saw the you inside.  I saw you.  I saw the love you had in your heart.

And I am so glad that that love was waiting for me.

Fear

You have me now.  You never need to fear anything.

Let go of the past..........  Let go of your ghosts.

I am with you now.  My love will keep you safe.  

I promise you that.  And you know how I am with promises.

When

Just when I think I can not love you more than I already do..... I find out that I do.

I love you so much more than I ever thought I could.

Presents

Of all the presents that I received, the best one was you in my life.

I had never expected to be this happy and contented until you came into my life, and for that I thank you.

You also showed me the person that you are by what you got for me..... 

I am the person who can have anything I want, but what you gave me showed that you were in many ways like me..... You actually think what a person really needs or wants.....

Your presents were both very thoughtful and most appreciated.

Thank you for you.

I love you.

Birthday

In a few days it will be my birthday.

How fast time seems to have flown by.  I am pretty nostalgic of all that I have had happen in my life.

I have very few regrets for I have had a full and wonderful life.

My only regret is that we had not met earlier.  That I will not have years and years with you.

But I must not complain...... For having you in my life now is worth everything to me.

Te Amo. 

Crabs and Prawns

Drove you over a 100 miles today just to take you to my favourite seafood joint by a mangrove swamp.

It is so great that we have so much in common, especially our love for crabs and prawns.

But...... I did not know if I did enjoy the crabs like I always have because I was too into drinking in the joy of you.

I love you.

1000

If I could say "I love you" a thousand times a day, I would.

Would you tire of me then?

Pussy Footing

We both have been treading lightly around each other.  "Pussy footing" to avoid a confrontation.

I wish I could understand your reasoning at times.  I wish you could see where my practicality stems from.

Until that time, we tread carefully.

It does not mean that I love you any less.

Silent Truce

There is a silent truce between us.

But I know the rumblings that are beneath.

I wonder who will explode first?????

Probably me...... I have a short fuse when something does not make practical sense.

Stubbornness

Sometimes it is hard for me to understand your stubbornness.

I can understand and accept a lot of things if they make sense...... But this.....this need to hold on to the past that will never ever repeat itself is just something that I cannot understand.

My ever practical brain cannot comprehend the reasons that you give me.

Are you afraid that I will stop loving you?  Are you afraid that we are not "forever"?

Granted we cannot tell the future, but I know me.  I know that I do not withdraw my love easily once I have committed myself.

So it brings it to the one point.  Are you afraid you will stop loving me?  Are you afraid that we are not "forever"?

Again

Today, you went back to Sq 1.  You again spoke of leaving me for a few days to see to stuff from your old life.

I am totally not acceptable of that.  I am the type of person who moves on.  I see no point in clinging to what was.

Life is constantly changing.  But the one permanent fact is that we can never ever go back to yesterday, or recapture what was.

Your past was not that great.  Your neighbourhood where you want to go to, is (in my opinion) not at all safe for you.

If anything happens to you because you are so adamant about doing what you want to do, I tell you now, I will never forgive you.

If anything happens to me because you caused me unnecessary worry and stress over your well-being,  I will not forgive you either because I have already told you a few times in the past, do not rock our happy little boat.

Kissing

How I love kissing you....... Your lips so soft...... Your response so passionate........You melt me.  

You make me want more.  

And more will never be enough.

Carefree

For the first time in 30 years, I feel carefree.  A great zing in my heart.

I love waking up to you and your kisses.  I love going to bed with you, covered in your kisses.

Thank you.

Te Amo.

Lazy

I have been too lazy to write my love letters.  I have actually been quite comfortable with all the calm that is between us.  I love it.

I am so content.

Gold Heart

We took a day off to spend together.  I just wanted to be alone with you without all the distractions of family, home, dogs and work.

I wanted to be selfish and have you ALL to myself.  I am soooo spoilt.  Hahaha......

I know you never ask me for anything, but I like giving you stuff that means something to me.

Today, I gave you my gold heart and a bit of Chinese calligraphy (which I designed when I use to have my other side business doing unique designs for one person only).

You asked me not to give you anymore extravagant gifts......You see....this is when you upset me.  

I KNOW you never ask me for anything.  But can you just not say a simple "Thank You" when I give you something from my heart?

A Thank You will suffice totally.  Trust me.  I love you.

Calm

I have to learn to try and remain calm when you sometimes do stuff that make me crazy.

I have to try and do the best for the both of us.  It is not easy..... But I am more mature (?) and I am stronger emotionally.  

So for now, it is still much love.

Rocking the Boat

Why????? Whyyyyyy?????? After we have been so gloriously happy, do you have to rock out boat.

Can you just not enjoy being happy?  Happy.  Can you understand how some people never even know that word exists?

Highlands

What fun you and I had once we were alone in our room in the highlands.

It was so cold, and I made you put your cold feet to warm up against me.

Your little nose was cold, and you insisted on putting on a hoodie jacket in bed.  That was so funny.

Here you are always telling me you wanted to go to some cold country, and here we were experiencing just around the temperatures of a chilly English summer, and you were wanting to be in layers of clothing.

Well I taught you to eat strawberries dipped in sugar.....freshly baked scones with cream and fresh strawberry jam, and walk among butterflies and bees.

And the funniest part for me was despite you saying about the cold, you eat freshly made ice-cream on two occasions...... You are my cutie.

Break

We are going away on another little break in a few days.  I cannot wait to have nothing to do but just be with you all day.....every hour.....every minute.

Unfortunately, it will not just be the two of us, but some members of the family again.

So here I go at being "tour guide" and "herder" again.

Thankfully it will  be more bearable with you by my side. For even in my darkest moments, when you just love me, you bring the smile out of me.

Anniversary

Every month since we met, I have given you something meaningful to let you know how I value the time that we have had together.  How I value you.

Being the person I am, it takes very little to make me happy, and I ask nothing extravagant of you in any physical form.

And when you are soft and gentle with me, showing me nothing but your love for me, I am much much more than happy.

Pittance

You make me so happy.  So excited about our future together.

Which is why I cannot understand, why you would jeopardise it all for pittance?

Your Wants

You always want to do what you wanted, no matter who it hurt.  Including yourself.  Usually yourself.

You are careless with yourself and want to take chances with people...... and now, even with me.

Can you not see that what we have is different..... special....?

Are you willing to chance us?  To the point of the possibility of losing me and everything we have?

So Little

Am I and the love we share worth so little to you ?, my love.

Jeopardise

Something must be wrong with me.  If not..... Then something must be wrong with you.

You jeopardise us, me just for something so trivial.

Are we worth so little to you?

You want to cling to you yesterdays, when I have so few tomorrows to spend with you.

I am so very very sad.

This Time.....Last Week

This time last week, we were in bliss..... So happy being together......

In a short 4 days you have managed to wipe out all that was wonderful and beautiful.

I really wonder about you.  What do you really want?

Levels

Why after four days of bliss do you have to be so grumpy with me?

You say it is your usual self in the mornings, but I will never be understand why you have to be so sour-faced and grouchy in the mornings when we have so much to be grateful for........

At least we are alive.  We still have today.

Home Again

Where has our 4 days of bliss gone?

I never wanted it to end.

The peacefulness of just sitting with you on the beach watching the sunset and listening to the waves....... Of driving through quiet roads through all that greenery and stopping whenever and wherever we felt like it.......Making new friends......

Of just having you all to me, and me all to you...... If only I could capture the look on your face at those moments.....

I love you so.

Cannot Sleep

We are finally going away tomorrow.

I am so excited.  I know I will not be able to sleep tonight.  And we have a long long day ahead.

A boat ride to an island.  A hidden gem of a cosy village chalet on the beach.

I cannot wait to see you face when I take you there.

I feel like a kid!

Busy Busy Busy

We are going away for alone time for 4 days.  Why is it that I have to be so busy busy in preparations???

Sometimes I really dislike the commitments that I have.  I just want to be free.  To be able to take off with you without feeling guilty of what I have to leave behind.

Never Never Never

These lyrics from Shirley Bassey's superb song describe how I feel about you when you drive me crazy with your ways.

I love you so very very much.

-

"I'd like to run away from you, but if you never 
found me I would die

I'd like to break the chains you put around me, 
but I know I never will

Impossible to live with you, but I know, I could 
never live without you.....

For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with 
anyone but you

You make me laugh, 
you make me cry, 
you make me live, 
you make me die for you

You make me sing, 
you make me sad, you make me glad, 
you make me mad for you

I love you, hate you, love you, hate you
But I'll want you till the world stops turning

For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with 
anyone but you..... 

For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with 
anyone but you. "

Which Part

Which part of no one and nothing between us do you not understand???

Nothing

I told you before........  Nothing and No One between us.

You and Me

I have not enjoyed working like I have done before.  

But I love working with you.  I teach you.  I push you.  I pressure you.  I lead you.  I slowly let you lead me..... And in all....you excel.  I am so proud of you.

You underestimate yourself.  You do not give yourself credit.

I told you I saw much potential in you.  You were just never given the right guidance or the right encouragement.

One day you will soar.  And I will watch you.  

So proud of you.  And so pleased that I saw so much in you.

I love you my darling.

Wow!!!!

Wow!!!  Has it been almost 3 weeks since I have written anything????  Wow!  How fast time has flown by?  I am at a lost......

But I am not lost.  Hahahah!

I have been having the time of my life having you work by my side.  Both going towards the same goal.

I have let you into a part of my life that I have not shown to anyone.  

And I love it!

Pressure

Sometimes I put you under more pressure when at work.  I do it on purpose.

I do not mean to be so hard on you.  But I need you to understand that if you are to make a success of yourself in life, you have to push yourself hard.  You must never let yourself down.  You must do your best for you.

I do though break the monotony of that pressure don't I, when I brush up against you and surprise you with kisses.

Admit it.  You love it when I kiss you.

If you did not, then why have you of late, started surprising me with kisses too?

As Time Goes By

I know that at times I am pushy and serious about my work.  I know at times I seem too playful all of a sudden while I am at work.  Just understand that this is me.  I have to go have a little crazy fun in-between because it helps break the strain of hard work.

You complain that I should take things a little more easy...... But those little crazy breaks are like my bits of fresh air and sunshine.

And now with you around, and when I can make you laugh when I pull my silly stunts, it is like a big zap of energy to me.

You have to laugh a lot in life.  It makes everything more bearable.

I Love You

I love you  

I Love You   

I LOVE YOU!

Afraid

Never been afraid of death before.  But of late have been thinking about it quite a bit.

While I know it is inevitable, and at one time of my life had thought that it was more preferable, I do not want to go to the great unknown anytime soon these days.

I will miss you way too much.

Busy Busy Busy

We have been busy busy busy.

Our days are long. Too long.  But having you working by my side, makes my days bearable.  

I especially love sneaking those kisses.  Those intimate touches.  The stolen secret brushes of the hand.

The days may be long, but I look forward to every one of them.

Why?

You will never ever be able to keep secrets from me.

You will never be able to lie to me either for I see right through your facades.

You have really disappointed me because you let me down the moment you were away from me.

You know we agreed on how to deal with your addictions.  You said you would trust me to lead you.

Then why did you betray me?

You really hurt me when you let yourself down.  For when you let yourself down, you let me down.

Too Far Away

You are away from me.  Too far away.

You had to go back to your home state to vote for our elections, which have been the dirtiest yet.

We are all hoping for the best and a change.

I am just hoping that you will come back to me soon.

The Way To Me

If you ever want a most certain way to get to me....to my heart...... It is very simple.

Just talk softly and gently to me.

I WILL listen.

Darn Tired

I am at home today alone.  You have gone into work.  I have stuff to do at home.

You left less than an hour ago and I already miss you.  So very much.

Last night we had to practically drag ourselves to bed.  We were so darn tired with all the stock arriving on the same day.

I wish I was up at my business again to help you.  But I have to be home today....No choice.

Embarrassingly last night as we were kissing, I fell asleep..... I woke and apologised only to find you had fallen asleep too and was not aware of what had happened.  That is how tired we both were and are..... Cannot wait till our little break in July..... Just you and me Babe.

Labour Day

We have 2 days off...... Yayyyyyy.......

Unfortunately, we had so much work to do at home.  All the cleaning and washing to catch up on.

Day 1 - I did however have our usual Labour Day BBQ.  After dashing around trying to complete as much as we could around the house.

But later that evening, sitting in my patio pontoon opposite you..... laughing with you and our loved ones..... It was good.

Oooooo I love the way you so enjoy the food that I cook for you.

Day 2 of our off days was spent pretty much the same.  Rushing around doing errands.......  

But they all were the lighter because you were with me, and we were together.

We did manage to grab a two hour nap.  We could have slept for longer, but chores beckoned.

Plus I never want to waste time sleeping when I can loving gaze at you and have you come up to me ever so often to kiss me.........

Impromptu

We had an impromptu date yesterday.

My brother had finished his surgery and wanted his dog, which we were looking after for him, back.

We made a quickie drop off and I took you to somewhere special for a spicy seafood lunch.

It was sooooo nice.  The company I mean.  The food was good too.......

Then I took you for a drive round the my island home.  I showed you the house where I was born..... I showed you the house where my son was born..... Then we took a ferry ride (again)....... 

I love the way you were so excited to see jellyfish and were busy pointing them out to me.  

If there were not so many people around, I would have kissed you over and over again.......

Laughs

You bring out deep belly laughs from me.  

Laughter that I had thought  had long deserted me..... my soul.

How you delight me, and how you have make my soul sing again.

Our Date

And how did our date go yesterday???????

Fantabulous........Wonderflous....... Beyond expectation (because we were expecting me to be getting all these phone-calls that I usually get).

You told me to switch off my phone, I told you it was not possible because some phone calls were a "must answer".......Sigggghhhhh.....

But the universe was kind...... Those "must answer" calls did not come. (Thankfully.)

I surprised you by taking a ferry ride home.

We only had eyes for each other and it was soooooo good to be this way.

We will do this again....... Soon I hope my love.

Date

I have a date with you today.  I have a date with you....... Yayyyyyy.....

Two of us..... Alone.....Just to walk and talk and be lost in each other.....

I got a date with you.  

Yayyyyyyyyy!

Back

If somebody comes back into your life, and tries to win you back, how will I be.....?

Even if it kills me, I would probably let you go because all I ever want is for you to be happy...... With or without me.....

But it will kill me.  Crush my heart.  And I would never want to recover.  

I know it sounds dramatic, but for the first time in all my life, I have found happiness with you.  I am exactly where I want to be.... with you.

I voice my fears......

You reply: -  "I m yours.  No one else's."

Hair

You have taught me so many things.  You spoil me with your care and concern for me all the time.

I especially love the way you have spoilt me by washing my hair.

You can wash my hair anytime.

Holding Hands

I just love the way you reach out to me when we are walking and just want to hold my hand.

I just love that we cannot bear to be apart for too long and automatically go in search of each other to reach out and touch.

No words to describe the joy we have when we watch a movie holding hands.

I so love holding hands with you.

Perfect

I do not need to hear the song "Perfect" to describe how you are to me.

We can sit in silence softly touching or holding hands...... It is perfect.

We can lie down together and just look into each other eyes, understanding without any words being spoken..... It is perfect.

We can drive around fingers entwined, and you take my hand to kiss it..... It is perfect.

We can sit opposite each other enjoying a meal and knowing each other's thoughts so well...... It is perfect.

We can be doing totally different stuff, and suddenly either I go look for you or you come visit with me..... It is perfect.

So my darling, just like you say I am your all to you, YOU are perfect for me.

A Poem

Found this among my "scribblings".  It is something that I had written for you in January this year.

I am still madly, crazy in love with you.

"And if we are to be alone
   Who are we to change
        what fate has planned for us?

I wonder if you will ever see me
   as I see you?

Could you ever love me
   As I love you?

But I cannot tell you to love me.....
    For love is unconditional.....
And should be given freely.

But we mortals..........
    Sometimes
         we expect too much......
Want too much.....

So I cannot but ask you
    Love me.......love me......love me.

Few Days

We have been having ups and downs these past few days.

I put it down to you and me getting use to being together everyday, and building out life together.

So we have these ups and downs....... Who does not have them.......  But the good thing about us is that at the end of the day, our love powers through, and we are one again in mind, heart and soul.

Really Angry

You mean so much to me.  And I really do try to do my best to make you happy and keep you happy......

But sometimes when you are rude to me, or answer me with no respect, I really really get annoyed.

You did this to me last night.  I was so mad with you.  I tried to keep my anger controlled but then you might think it was okay to behave the way you did, so I had to let you know.

I try never to raise my voice or to tell anyone off these days.  I try to talk softly....gently..... But you made me so angry with the way you back talked me.

I told you I was not one of your little friends and to show me more respect.

You told me sometimes you did not understand.  But to me, there is nothing to understand about rudeness.

Either you are respectful or not.  That is all.

Easter

We had a nice Easter lunch.  I was so very pleased to see you enjoying yourself. 

Making you happy always makes me happy.

I cannot wait to get away with you tomorrow.  Be alone with you.  See how you are when you are just you with me.

Sometimes we seem from so totally different worlds.  And it is hard for me to understand you.  But I really try.  I really really do.

Will tomorrow be the start of something different?  I wonder..... I wonder.....

Trip

We are going away for a few days.  Just you and I alone.

However, we are not seeing eye to eye on how we will use the first night when we are away.  You are insisting that you stay at your flat.  While in all practicality  I believe it would be easier and more comfortable if we stayed at the hotel that I have booked for us.

I know you want me to see your place.  And I would love to see your place, but you have not been there in months, and it will be dusty and impractical to clean everything just for a night.

But it is up to you.  I always look for the easiest, best way of doing things so that everything is a smooth flow.  Not so stressful running up and down and around.

It is up to you.

Acting Silly

Today you made me laugh like I had not done in a long long time.

So many firsts with you....... (Smile).......

You get away with so much with me.  No one else dares do the things you cheekily do to me.

I find that so endearing about you.  You are not afraid or intimidated to just be silly with me.

How you make me laugh!  You silly little sweetheart you.

Move

We moved your stuff into my bedroom today.

But you moved into my heart and life a long long time ago.

I hope you stay for a long long time till the my last breath.

I love you so.

When You Tell Me.......

When you talk heart to heart with me....... When you tell me how much you truly love me..... Everything...... EVERYTHING is worth it.

Us

How come we are so near yet so far apart?

I wonder if you are are having some misgivings about us.  I worry because I never ever want you to be unhappy.  Even if it means I have to be without you.

Then, when I least expect it, you grab me and kiss me.  You hold me close to you and look into my eyes.......

And all my misgivings and insecurities fly away for I can see in your eyes what you feel in your heart for me.

It is pure love.

Enough

Will love ever be enough for you?

Tumultuous

Yesterday, out of the blue, we had a confusing and confronting time.

You are sad because you are fighting your demons of addiction.  And as expected you will take your feelings out on me as I am the one closest to you.  

I accept that.  I am patient.  I will do anything to heal you.... your soul.

But I wonder if I will be enough???  Will my love be enough???  Will your love for me be strong enough to stand all these tribulations???

You have made me happier than I have ever been in all my life.  That is the truth.

Will I have to sacrifice my happiness if you should give in to your weaknesses?  

If my love for you is pure and true, I guess I would have to sacrifice me in order for you to be happy.

My heart is so heavy..... Why does life always have to play games with us?  Why all these cruel twist and turns?

Why can't true love just be enough?

Too Busy

Our days are getting busier and busier.  My busy season is almost upon us.

We seem to have less and less quality time together and our tempers flare as our patience fray.

I worry we will not make it.  I pray we do.  You are all I ever wanted.  I hope that you still believe that I am all that you have ever wanted too.

But for now, we seem a little far apart.

I miss you.  I miss us.

Days

How time flies when one is busy.

Busy with work.  Busy with getting on with life.  Getting too busy to pay much attention to each other.....Sad but true.

I must do something about this.  Perhaps a little break.....

You are getting grumpy with me.  And I feel bad because I know you are not use to my work schedule.  

All I have ever known is work ....work... and more work.....

I will make it all up to you.  I will make you laugh with me again.

I really love you.  I do.

Annoyed

You say it is a joke when you tease me about dating other people.

Maybe it is..... But I have been cheated on badly before.  And I really do not find that kind of teasing or joke funny.

I am annoyed.

When

When things get too tough for you...... Just remember.....When you are at rock bottom, the only other way is up.

So be patient.  Hold fast. Be humble. Be strong. Learn the lessons life is teaching you.

And never for a moment forget that I love you and I am here for you.

Happiness is........

I have been lonely for so very long.

Now I realise that happiness is not just the absence of sorrow, but more so it is the presence of an exuberant joy.

I find a lot of joy in you.

Passing Day

With each passing day, I love you more and more.

I wonder if I could ever love you more...... And I keep finding that there is always more of you for me to love.

I love you.

Laughter

Last night we were both being silly and how we laughed.

It was so good to hear you laugh and see those happy tears in your eyes.

I hope I will always be able to make you laugh like that.  You have been through so much, and you deserve to be happy......so very very happy.

Everytime

Every time you say "Good Morning my love", my heart soars.

What a wonderful way to start my day.  Waking up next to you and hearing you say these words to me.

Melted

Even though we found each other so late in life, and we have only been together not for years and years and years......

But from the moment we melted into each other........

It was as though we had been in each other's arms a million times before.

I am without doubt that you and I were always meant to be.

Sadness

You past relationship is being brought to the fore.  Your ex is making you sad with all sorts of statements and accusations.

I know it is only natural for you to feel sad over what has been.  The end to anything is always sad.

All I can say is that if you were truly loved, and your heart taken care of, you would never have left.

You have the right to be happy in this one life, my darling.

End of My Life

Last night at midnight, I gave you a gold band.

I asked you to be mine till the end of my life.  After that, when I am no more, I will not expect you to remain with my memory.  I want you to be happy doing whatever and with whoever makes you smile.

You cried.  It touched me deeply.

I know a ring does not bind two people.  It is always the heart that makes one stay.

Here's to the end of time, my love.

Difficult

You have been having a difficult time of late.  With your trying to cut out your bad addictions..... I know it is really really hard.

I love you even more for trying so hard. 

I wish I could make it easier, but these are battles you have to face.  I am with you though, in any way I can be in support.

Oh.... I love you so very very much.

Realisation

Reading the last few postings, I realised I used the word "happy" a lot.  I guess it is because I truly am.

Thank you.