Headaches

I have been having bad headaches for the past 2 weeks.

It is just the stress and being unable to sleep through the night with so many things running to my mind.

Not to mention the lost of a family member......

I wonder about my mortality.  I wonder how your life will be without me.  I get sad.  But it is inevitable....... our parting when the time comes......

I hope you will be brave and you will live your life to the full with the knowledge that you have been greatly loved by me.

Unwell

I have not been well these past few weeks with the passing of a family member.

Funny how we do not know what they mean to us until it is too late.

I have had trouble sleeping, and you have been up every time I move or get up, holding me and comforting me.

You do not know what your comfort means to me.

Relationships

I guess in any relationships there are many ups and downs.

Our downs seem fairly few.  Our ups? Immeasurable.

All

All I have ever wanted with you was to show you how much I love you and all that you mean to me.

When you told me about how life had been before you, my heart broke because of the hard times you had been through.

Now, you are like my princess.  There is nothing that I would not try and do to make your life more comfortable.

And yet, instead of the shy thank you's you use to give to me, you have somewhat become a little arrogant and a little free with you comments.

Instead of a simple thank you, you make me cry.

Why?

Yes/No

You say "Yes" and "No" in the same breath and I am confused.

Precious

If these were important to me, I would cover you with diamonds, precious stones and gold.

But I am a down to earth person who knows what is more priceless and what has no monetary value, and that makes this all the more of a treasure.

It is the love we share.

And what makes this all the more priceless is the fact that you totally agree with me.

Happy

I wish I could publish photos of you.....

You look so happy.  Always laughing and smiling.  Such a peaceful looking face.  I could stare at those photos endlessly.

I am happy you are so happy with me.  I am happy that you are so fulfilled by our love.

For once, cynical old me wishes for Forever.

Letting Go

There are many things that I have to learn to understand after being betrayed in a previous serious relationship.

I have to learn to let go.

I know that you can never be happy if you are not happy.  Up to a point I know that means trusting that you will not be selfish.

But....... if I love you so, I have to let you go.

Peace

All I want is a little peace in my life.....

I wish I could escape with you more.  Everytime we are away together alone, my mind empties and my heart is full of you.

Haven

I find my haven in you.

Follow-up

Well, had another follow-up visit.  Nothing much more can be done and it is not up to my body to work itself back to how I was.

I will have to wear a leg brace for up to a year!!!  Damn.  And I am to take things easy until the pains let up more and let nature take its course and the fibroids seal up the tear.  Real bummer.

But I guess, what has happened cannot be undone, and we can only move forward.

I will heal.  With you by my side.  With your love, care and devotion, I will heal so I can walk with you holding your hand again soon.

Injury

I injured myself by trying to do too much ..... as usual, and have been laid up by having to have bed-rest.....Bummer.

I miss doing things with you.

And more frustrating is that I am not able to do the normal things with you like going for a walk or taking you out to dinner with just the two of us.

Worst still, I have to depend on you so much, that it makes me feel bad that you have to run around doing your stuff as well as having to do my normal tasks.

Not to mention the trips to the hospital and then the follow-up doctor's visits.....

I thank you.  I thank you.

No Words

There are no words needed to express how much I love you.

I Love You.

Rock

Every time we seem to be on calm waters, this is when you decide to rock the boat.

Just bear in mind not to tip it over.

Much as I love you and am committed to us, there is just so much resentment you should push me to......

Damn and Double Damn

You had been talking about going to settle your matters in your previous bode of residence, and for the life of me, I still cannot understand just why you need to keep another place of residence.

I just feel like you cannot let go of your past, and in a way, are sort of jinxing our relationship by not being able to have confidence that we will be ok.

I have done everything to make you feel safe.  Everything to make sure that you will not be in want of anything in your future.......

But I guess that is still not enough for you.

Like I said to you before, do not drive me to resentment.

Posting

Even though I was not on here, I wrote down all my daily thoughts in my little notebook.  And I will be posting them here in due time according to the dates they were recorded.

Just need to get all my photographs in order......

I am so glad you are in my life.